Why Fit In?

-Theodor Geisel

I wonder whether renowned neurologist, Dr. Oliver Sacks, ever read these words. After watching the documentary His Own Life , viewers will come to know that these words personified him.

His Own Life is a film that chronicles the 82 years Dr. Oliver Sacks spent in this world. He was born in 1933 and grew up in a close-knit family where both parents were physicians. Even as a youngster, his brilliance was dazzling and Oliver was expected to practice medicine just like his parents did.

During his early life, Oliver experienced significant childhood trauma. He lived in London during the Blitzkrieg and was evacuated from the city. Among all the hardships of adjusting to this change, he and his older brother were bullied. Later, his brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia and Oliver worried that he may develop the same condition.

At eighteen, he experienced another major trauma. Up until then, Oliver had a close relationship with his mother, although he did describe it as somewhat enmeshed. After his mother learned he was gay, she called him an abomination and told him that she wished he’d never been born – an emotional attack that almost proved fatal. Although he and his mother later reconciled, they never discussed her cold-hearted words. After this incident, Oliver left home, became addicted to amphetamines, and rode his motorcycle at a velocity that courted death. These behaviors reveal the effect his mother’s rejection had on him.

Dr. Oliver W. Sacks

After living this way for many years, Sacks sought treatment with analyst, Dr. Shengold. The psychoanalyst agreed to work with him on condition that Sacks stop abusing drugs. Sacks knew his life was worth saving and agreed.  He entered treatment with Dr. Shengold and when talking about the 50 years spent in analysis, Sacks wryly commented that they’d made a good start!

The documentary gives viewers a good look into Sacks' persona - the indomitable spirit with which he overcame his suffering and struggles - and the creative thinking skills he harnessed to make his medical discoveries and breakthroughs.

Sacks’ curiosity and empathy towards others were as much a part of him as his name. He approached his patients, especially those with the most severe neurological impairments, with a deep interest in knowing what their inner life was like. He had the unique ability to get into another person’s skin and feel what it was like to be them.  He was also fascinated by the big basic questions of neurology - what is the brain, what is the mind, what is consciousness, what is creativity?

For too many years, despite the stunning discoveries he made, Sacks was shunned by the medical community until his contributions to neuroscience were finally acknowledged and accepted.

Months before he died, Oliver told those closest to him that he had terminal cancer and had less than a year to live. He said, “I hope I will be able to work, play, and love till the end...There will be nobody like us when we are dead, but then again, there is nobody like us ever...When people die, they can't be replaced. It's every human being’s path to live their own life."

After seeing His Own Life, I took Sacks’ words to heart. It felt like I had a personal awakening, a coming to consciousness again. What we each offer to others cannot be replicated by any other person. Like Sacks, we must constantly maintain a curious approach to life and ask ourselves - what can we offer others, what can we offer ourselves? What are we passionate about? How can we make a difference in the world?

Oddly enough, Dr. Sacks reminds me of another famous doctor - Theodor Geisel, popularly known as Dr. Seuss. Like Sacks, Geisel faced rejection.  His first children’s book was rejected by twenty seven publishers before being accepted for print.  Like Sacks, Geisel proclaims the virtues of individuality, self-actualization and the importance of play for children and adults alike. Dr. Seuss continues to inspire millions of readers - the young and young at heart. His explicit messages conveyed through rhyme, urge us to recognize our innate value and to shed the notion and allure of marching in step with everyone else.

Although their lives probably never intersected, Oliver Sacks embodied the child-like qualities Dr. Seuss encouraged.  Do not confuse childlike with childish. Childlike qualities of curiosity, wonder and excitement, are ones that allow adults to live a full life - just as Sacks conveyed in the message to his friends when telling them of his approaching death. It was as if he was paraphrasing Dr. Seuss’ words.

Sacks lived most of his life in celibacy. It wasn’t until he was in his seventies that he allowed himself to love and be loved. The bleakness of his romantic life did not diminish the sparkle that was uniquely his. Throughout his professional career, even when others did not have faith in him or in his ideas, he did not allow their doubts or derision to discourage him. Ultimately, his contributions to neuroscience have been recognized and venerated. It appears that Dr. Seuss agrees with Dr. Sacks, as he encourages us to follow our passions and fight for what we believe in.

When I sat down to watch His Own Life, I had no idea that it would inspire me to feel awakened. We all have gifts that are meant to be nurtured to maturity and shared with others. The obstacles we encounter along the way are there to promote our growth, not thwart it.

Know your truth. Be curious about yourself. Embrace your struggles because it is they who will lead you to your destiny. But most importantly, remember to have lots of fun along the way!

Imagining how Theodor Geisel might sign off, I leave you with one last thought -